The Self-Care Struggle as a Working Single Mom
Self-care. We hear about it all the time—magazine covers, podcasts, Instagram influencers—but as a full-time working mom, it feels like this mythical unicorn that’s always just out of reach. Sure, I could take a bubble bath and sip herbal tea… if my toddler weren’t trying to climb into the bathtub fully dressed or if I didn’t have laundry towering up like Mount Everest in the corner.
Balancing work, parenting, and the ever-elusive “me time” can be exhausting. My day usually looks something like this: wake up before dawn, get myself and the kiddo ready, drop them off at daycare, rush to work, spend eight hours juggling tasks, attend meetings that could’ve been emails, pick up my child, make dinner, bathe them, put them to bed… and by the time I get to sit down for a second? It’s midnight, and I’m falling asleep with my clothes on. Sound familiar?
It’s hard to admit that I’ve struggled to find time for myself. I mean, we’re told as women to be superhuman—to keep our jobs, our homes, and our children thriving. But let’s be real: when do we thrive? It’s easy to lose sight that I deserve to feel good, too. I need self-care just as much as anyone else. However, when you’re being pulled in all directions, there’s simply no time.
So here I am, trying to figure out how to make it work—how to create even the tiniest sliver of space for myself. If you’re in the same boat, I see you, and you’re not alone. Let’s work on it together. Here are five things I’m trying to do to make time for self-care, even when life is packed to the brim:
1. Simplify the Little Things
One thing I’ve realized is that I often make things harder on myself. Whether it’s trying to cook a full three-course dinner every night or insisting that the house needs to be spotless before I go to bed, I tend to overcomplicate things that don’t need to be perfect. I’ve been embracing the beauty of shortcuts.
Meal prepping on Sundays has become my best friend. It doesn’t have to be gourmet. I batch-cook simple, healthy meals that my kiddo and I can eat throughout the week, like chicken and veggies, pasta dishes, or even sandwiches. It’s one less thing I have to stress about daily, and it saves so much time. Also, I’ve accepted that it’s okay if the house isn’t always pristine. Letting go of that guilt frees up mental energy that I can channel into doing something for me, like reading a book or zoning out in front of my favorite TV show.
2. Create Mini Self-Care Moments
I’ve realized that I don’t need hours of uninterrupted time to take care of myself (although wouldn’t that be nice?!). I’ve started carving out small moments throughout the day. It could be a five-minute meditation while my child is watching cartoons, or a quick skincare routine after they go to bed. Some days, self-care looks like applying a face mask while folding laundry—it’s not glamorous, but it works.
On particularly busy days, I make it a point to take a moment, even if it’s just a single minute, to sit still and breathe. I close my eyes, let my shoulders drop, and focus on my breath. Even a short, mindful pause helps me feel more centered in the chaos.
3. Ask for Help (And Accept It!)
This is a tough one, and I’m still working on it. I’ve always been the type of person who thinks I need to do everything myself. But the truth is, it’s okay to ask for help. I’ve started relying more on my support system—whether it’s asking a friend to watch my child for a couple of hours so I can have a little “me time,” or hiring a babysitter once in a while.
It can feel uncomfortable to admit that I can’t do it all, but I’ve realized that I’m a better mom and worker when I’m not running on empty. When I get a break—even if it’s just a coffee date with myself—I come back feeling refreshed and more present for my child.
4. Set Boundaries at Work and Home
As a working mom, the lines between work and personal life often blur. I find myself answering emails after hours or taking calls while making dinner. But I’ve learned that setting boundaries is essential for my well-being. I’ve started being firm about when I’m available for work. Once I clock out, I do my best to leave work at the door (figuratively speaking, since I work from home a lot!).
At home, I’ve begun setting small boundaries with my child, too. For example, I’ll explain that “Mommy needs five minutes of quiet time” before diving into bedtime stories. It’s not perfect, but it teaches them the importance of respecting other people’s space, and it gives me just a moment to recharge.
5. Prioritize Sleep (Yes, Really!)
This one has been huge for me. For the longest time, I was sacrificing sleep to get everything else done—work, house chores, even scrolling social media late into the night because I just wanted a moment to myself. But lack of sleep was making me cranky, more anxious, and overall less productive.
Now, I’m making sleep a priority. I set a “bedtime” for myself (which feels funny as an adult), but it’s necessary. I try to turn off screens at least 30 minutes before bed, dim the lights, and allow myself time to unwind. Getting better rest has done wonders for my mood and energy levels. It’s still a work in progress, but I can tell it’s making a difference.
At the end of the day, I’m learning that self-care doesn’t have to be grand or Instagram-worthy. It’s about doing what’s right for me, finding small ways to nourish my mind, body, and spirit amidst the chaos. And while it’s not easy, I know that making time for myself is essential—not just for my own well-being, but because it allows me to show up as the best version of myself for my child and my work.
If you’re a full-time working mom trying to juggle it all, take a deep breath. You’ve got this. Even if it’s just finding one tiny moment of self-care in your day, it’s a step in the right direction. We deserve to thrive, too.
