The Struggles and Solutions
Let me be real with you for a second—being a single woman in today’s world can be incredibly challenging, especially when it comes to finding a truly supportive partner. We live in a time when relationships are glorified on social media, yet behind those curated photos and hashtagged captions, a lot of us are out here struggling to find someone who will genuinely show up. And trust me, the journey has been anything but easy for me.
I’m Katie, a full-time worker and single mom, navigating through life with what sometimes feels like all the weight on my shoulders. The idea of having someone by my side to help shoulder that weight sounds incredible, but the reality of finding that kind of partner? Not so simple. Here’s what it often feels like for me—and I know many of you can relate.
The Challenge
Dating as a single woman is exhausting. You’d think by now, I’d have mastered it, but nope. It’s a continuous rollercoaster of mismatches, dead-end conversations, and people who don’t want to invest in a meaningful connection. It seems like everyone is either emotionally unavailable or just not willing to support me in the way I need.
Being a mom adds an extra layer to all of this. I don’t just need someone to text late at night; I need a partner who can be there when things get tough. Someone who gets that after a long day at work, followed by the chaos of single parenthood, sometimes I just need to unwind in silence with a cup of tea—or maybe vent about how hard the day was. I need someone who understands the pressure I’m under without me having to explain it every single time.
But, what often happens is that I end up feeling like I’m walking on eggshells, afraid to ask for too much. I start doubting myself, wondering if maybe I’m just being “needy” or if I’m expecting too much from a partner. Meanwhile, I’m over here supporting, encouraging, and cheering on others, but where’s that in return?
The Moments That Sting
There are moments when the frustration hits hard. For example, when you’re talking to someone, and everything is going well, but the second things get a bit stressful in your life—poof, they’re gone. Or when you express what you need, and instead of listening, they tell you to “calm down” or suggest you’re “overreacting.” It feels like a punch in the gut because all you really want is someone who listens without judgment, who can be your rock when the going gets tough.
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been called “too much” for asking for what I deserve. But really, why should asking for support and understanding be seen as “too much”? It shouldn’t. If anything, we should normalize expecting emotional support in relationships—it’s a two-way street, after all.
The Emotional Toll
I’ll be honest, this whole cycle can take a toll on you emotionally. After a while, it starts to feel like it’s your fault like you’re not worthy of a partner who will truly stand by you. There are nights when I feel completely drained—like I’ve given all I can, and there’s no one there to give anything back. It’s frustrating, and it’s lonely.
But I’ve learned that part of the journey to finding a supportive partner isn’t just about finding the right person—it’s also about recognizing your own worth and refusing to settle for less. The moment you start believing that you deserve more, you start raising your standards, and that’s where things can start to change.
Five Steps to Solve the Frustration
Now, as much as I wish I could give you a magic wand that would make your perfect partner appear, that’s not reality. What I can share with you, though, are five things I’ve been learning that have helped me cope with the frustration—and might help you too:
1. Set Clear Boundaries
One of the biggest mistakes I’ve made in the past is letting people walk all over me because I was afraid to lose them. I thought if I gave and gave, eventually, they’d reciprocate. Wrong. Setting boundaries doesn’t make you selfish—it ensures you’re protecting your peace. Communicate your needs early on, and if someone isn’t willing to respect them, they’re not worth your time.
2. Be Honest About What You Want
Too often, we go into relationships without being clear about what we’re looking for, either because we’re scared to scare someone off or we don’t want to come across as “too serious.” But being upfront saves you so much time and heartache. If you want a supportive, committed partner, say so. The right person will respect that; the wrong person will bail—and that’s okay.
3. Work on Self-Love
I know, I know. The whole “love yourself first” mantra can feel a bit cliché, but it’s so important. The more you love yourself, the more you recognize when someone isn’t treating you with the respect you deserve. It helps you stop settling for less and builds your confidence in knowing that you’re worth the love and support you seek.
4. Surround Yourself with Positive People
A supportive partner is amazing, but don’t underestimate the power of a solid support system in general. Surround yourself with friends and family who lift you up, who encourage you, and who are there when you need them. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking your partner should be your everything, but having other people in your life who love and care for you can help take the pressure off finding “the one.”
5. Trust the Process
This is the hardest one for me. I’m impatient, and I want to know when my person is going to show up already. But trusting the process means allowing things to happen organically, without forcing a connection that isn’t right. It’s about letting go of the need to control the outcome and knowing that the right person will come into your life when the timing is right.
In the End, You’re Worth It
At the end of the day, the journey to finding a supportive partner can be long, frustrating, and sometimes heartbreaking. But it’s also a journey of self-discovery and growth. With each experience, I learn more about what I want, what I need, and most importantly, what I deserve.
So if you’re out there, feeling the same frustrations I am, just remember that you’re not alone. We all deserve someone who will stand by us, support us, and love us for who we are. It might take time, but don’t give up on the idea that it’s possible. Because it is.
And until then, let’s keep working on loving ourselves, setting those boundaries, and holding out for the kind of partner who will be everything we need—and more.
It’s a long road, but I’m walking it right along with you. Keep your head up!
